Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My Stress

Almost one month working here already. What do i know? Erm...the clearest info i have in my mind is...this account is messy, really, Really, REALLY MESSY!!!

Haih...they have a qualified accounts person to handle the whole account from the secretarial firm. Of course, with him i "should" feel easier to handle things. But, without him, i think my works can success better. Any figure i need from, i request for supporting, he say 'I also don't have it...its all estimation!' Hallo, Uncle, estimation also got a calculation to the figure lah!...He even promised to come to discuss...but day after day...he fly aeroplane. Damn it!

Poor me...i gotta work out all by myself, i rather that way than having an old man old method messing up!

Thanks so much to Joey...we discussed the whole Saturday. We managed to think some way to make the accounts system go better.

The only problem is month end now...how can i close my accounts. Moreover, my exam coming soon. Stress ar....

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Me & My Family? Who Left Who?

Days ago, i was chatting with Mel. Out of nowhere, she asked me when did i left my family. I guess must be my previous blog.

So shall i start my whole story from the beginning? It's really long winded like a old granny.

Since i was a baby, or more specific, since i was not even one month old, i was "dumped", or a nicer way "adopted" "taken care of" by my grandmother. Do i see my parent often? or Do they come and see this deserted child often? Erm...hardly i see their strands of hair. From the day i can remember things, i only know they come over every Wednesday night for dinner. Slowly, slowly...they skipped from every to alternate, then once a month, then i think there was once 3 or 6 months i don't see them. Exagerate? Not at all.

This does not happen only to me but also my sister. Well only one of them, the youngest was "lucky" my parents "want" her.

There was nothing bad being "adopted" by my grandmother, staying with my auntie. Just that both my aunties are spinster! So they get emotional very easily and we incurred the consequences when it happened. I remember when i was young, they used to bet alot in share market. In year 1997, economy went really low(read long). Lose money lah. Very emotional, bad mood bad temper. So guess what happen to us just for her to feel better. CANED...we were both caned badly irregardless of mistake.

Always, when exam is nearby, nightmare came along too. Fortunately my nightmare came alot lesser compared to my sister. No doubt, she wasit slow, she was "abused" eventually, having to do all her question and homework, while i can go to bed earlier resting for the next day's exam. And the worst was, we were not allowed to stay with my parents during weekend just because she wants us to go to her religious get together. She has a "funny" religion, JW, but i learned to respect and undeniable, i did learn alot of wisdom there.

I used to hate her so much for treating us like a toy for her temper. Initially, i started missing her now. Come to think back, without her, i wouldn't have a chance to learn better english since the age of three. Without her, i'll lacked alot of knowledge. Without her, i would not have success myself to be independent. Without her, i would have stuck with my uncaring parents and lepak-ing don't know where.

I pity my youngest sister now with my parents. They don't know what parenting is. My aunt look at money very huge, they don't understand money does not mean happiness, even though my parents do understand this, thing do not change. My dad a gambler. Everytime i called or i go home, nothing bout money is all he ask. My mom just get jealous of everything.

Recently, i went back hometown but not to my home. She gave me no choice. I felt like a homeless child. The story was, she don't let me have my sis' car, so we went bac to his hometown first to get the car. When i am back in KL i called to say i'm coming home, my mom just go bursting nag nag nag...sorry to say, but i really can't stand old people who nag and nag especially when you are about to do the matters when they are mentioning. I didn't went home because of the irritation. The worst part was, nobody bother to call that whole night even till now. I just went to my aunt's house where i grew up to visit her and my old granny.

Me cruel or my parents? In fact, my mom keep asking me to get married, that means, i would be stucked with my other half. Though, i am not yet, but now already i am stuck with him working here in Spore, but she just wanna show attitude. I don understand what she wants. Wants me to be stuck with her whole life but want me to get married? She used to tell me go work go work, and i am now working very independently far away, she'll tell me to come back, no good work so far...there she goes bla bla bla...Isn't she confusing...Yes indeed.

Aiya...till now, you tell me who left who? Was i the cruel one or what?

Monday, May 22, 2006

@#&$.....Shd I get the Blame???

"I think you don't cook anymore" said his mom.
"Huh"
"NO, no more cooking! My electricity bill very high you cook like that(she uses a hot plate for cooking), somemore Janice(the maid) says sticky sticky dirty...bla bla bla!"

Well, i cook using a thermal cooker where no electricity no gas is needed, this means cheap cooking!! And yes true enough it's inconvenient as i do not to be there when it's cooking. All i need to do is heat the pot till boiling point, then leave it in the thermal, in an hour time, dinner's served. How glad i can have my homecook meal, since i've been on instant noodle for almost the whole year!!!

Whatelse can i say, "Oooo, OK!" then walked away.

My SMS started to ring, from Mr R, the landlord.
"Just say ok and carry on with your cooking. She knows nothing bout thermal cooking, Anything i answer..."
"Hah...you sure? But your mom say Janice don't like it."
Thinking on another hand, she's just the maid why the hell i care whether she likes or not, she's paid to clean up!
"She not happy you oiling the kitchen. That's her playground, she can detect stains anytime. My suggestion, continue cooking, min frying. Also Not happy that Janice helped you in washing your bedsheet or something like that. Important thing, DO off air-con always when you go out. The electricity bill is S$505 while a 5 roomed house should cost only S$2-300. Thats is why she is jumping."
"Erm...i'm not protesting but i don think we would cause the increases. In fact, we seldom use the air-con unless really hot! Anyway , i'll try my best."

Aiya, no point talking to people who communicate with dogs more than human, plus does not think with the brain! "The more people i meet the more i love my dog!" Why? Coz dogs neva betray.

Well, up to individual to comment. I only know we are not supposed to be blamed for this fault. A cases to think about, the maid had past history of stealing. First, she stole the owner's money. Worst, she robbed my room.

They decided to pay back, not by cash but two months of rental, which meant i stayed for well, 90% free. I guess they were not happy that they are not getting the rental. But it was you who suggested about paying back. If the maid would had remit the money back home for good use, we could still tolerate. But, she actually stole for making phone calls, for paying back her handphone bill. She hadn't receive pay for a long time because of her overdue phone bill. Aiya...Philipino maid...!

Since my rental was omitted, of coz they cut that from her pay, everybody, especially the auntie, started to be very grumpy. Of coz the income is suddenly much more lower and expenses went so high. But are we to be blamed?

Think harder please, Mister and Ma'am. Is there any need that we increases your electricity? Or is there someone who can do this easily and be more happy? Yes, if hot plate does increases the electricity, who can always waste it that way? Don't i need to rest after i come home? Laudry, it takes an hour to complete the cycle, how many one hour can i spend, or is there who can spend more doing so? Air con, just sneaked into my room and checked whether i do leave it on or not before you open your mouth!

Be reasonable! Be rational! Didn't teachers teach you these moral? Or do they teach you to accuse?

THINK WITH YOUR BRAIN, NOT THE DOG's BRAIN, NOT YOUR ASS!!!!

Damn it!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

May 18...Three years ago

Today, May 18...years ago i am always so eager for this day to come.

This happened in my sweet seventeen...but it felt bitter worse than chinese medicine. That cut had deeply impacted my life.

I was then with my ex KY. Well...past was passed. May 18 is his birthday. We would always yearn for this day to come, planning where should we go what should we do, how to make the celebration great. Slowly...i started to get tired, losing excitement losing interest on this day's arrival. On the 3rd year of this day after knowing him, i wasn't even there to have this celebration with him. Oh dear...but i guess, that was no mistake. I did that on purpose...at least i think so. MH asked me to go Port Dickson with him to see his bowling competition. Without any consideration, i say YES! Actually KY's birthday wasn't even in my mind, till i reached PD.

The only thing came across when this struck my mind was...Ceh, no big deal lah! In fact i have a great time with MH. Oh yeah, i must admit, i'm infatuated with MH. He was my secondary one classmate who always irritated also very sayang me! Well, the infatuation started at then, but it increases wheni was in Sec2. I believe he was too...but just that we were too closed to improve(grinned)! Till the point in PD, the faded infatuation gradually increases again after years not seeing each other. We, togather with his friend, had fun running around on the beach, then me & MH, we chat & chat, telling him all my misery, sitting on the railing of the balcony where the sea is just below. It was his birthday, and of i was not there, so how unhappy he was, i do not want to know since i was so happily infatuated. We were there for 3-4 days. Alot of fun we have. I massages him(do not get me wrong!), we stayed up late just to chat(actually it was me who do not want to go to bed). And of course, flies (his friends) infatuated with me (read vomit) buzzing around me.

Time to go home!
"I dowanna go home, i dowanna see him. Bring me anywhere else except home!"
Well, we went back to his house. And it was late late nite. Even if he wanna fetch me home, his car was blocked at the parking lot. It was just fate i guess...hehe...

So i stayed overnght in his house. He does not have a big house, neither does he have his own room. He has erm...4 sister and one of them has the same name as mine. He shared room with his 3 sister and sleep on the floor. As his sisters were all asleep, we both slept on the floor on the matress. YES, we slept togather(only sleeping mah, so what...)! But most of the time, we were whispering to each other. Slowly, i lied onto his chest, and he hugged me.....

Oooooohhhh......i...felt so comfortable....just like a protected newborn baby. I guess...this feeling bloom just when i was too tired wishing someone else could relieve me. Hugging was all of it, and no more. After waking up, he cooked a simple branch, and we watch TV. His sisters started coming back from school...well, i'm feeling so paiseh. Around 4-5pm, his parents came home. Aiks.....i started so shake and blush! "Erm...fetch me home..." There was a piece of silence. His mom told me to stay for dinner...i rejected the offer and MH fetch me home. He fetch me to my ex's rented condo. I don feel like going back up, but there was where i belong long long time ago.

Just before getting out the car, i KISSed him...and ran straight out.

After that night, i would call him alot. He would come and bring me out too, just at the garden nearby my house. Ya...as usual me, i would nag and complain bout my life. Then we would chat too bout what kinda of mate we like. I guess, we got bored of each other. He bored with my complain of life, i bored with his opinion bout his future maid, oops mate! Hmm...he does make it sound exactly like a maid, washing cleaning cooking...every single thing the maid does would be his mate.

Infatuation over...till now we still keep in contact...very good friends. My Bf and he met and chat. But there is still a small secret in between 3 of us. The infatuation....

Hey, that should be the title better "The Infatuation". Nah...i've changed the title too many times. This blog was supposed about KY...i failed for composition! Damn...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

只要三个字。。。

只要三个字, 我就被哄得那么开心?原来我是个那么容易满足的女人!

这是好事吗?不太像咯!唉!

前晚,我与他开玩笑突然翻了脸。睡觉时他不肯睬我。 很坏咧!我把他踢下床,谁料到他真的下床咧!真是气死人!大木头!还我哭哭哭! 我当然不忍心他睡地上, 把他叫上床我又不甘心。唉,结果心软的我大家都猜到我做了些么啦!

当然我不服气咯!心想妈的,他怎能忍心就那样去地上睡呢?把他叫了上回来没说哄哄我抱下宠下亲一个么都没咧!真可恶!他还爱我吗?我就这么地问了他:您还爱我吗?爱和喜欢使不同的哦!

他一整天都没回答我这个!真会耍赖!王八蛋!

晚上回到家我当然不踩踏啦!唉。。。老竹啊老竹啊!您到底是木头还是猪?他直缠住我想个小孩可偏偏不给我答案!气死我啊!您滚远远啦心想!把他脱身后我就不停做其他东西不理他!

“嘟!嘟!嘟!”电话突然响起!

“我爱您很爱您那您爱我吗?”
嘻!偷偷咪咪的笑!傻傻的咧!
“您肯定吗?怎样肯定咧?”
“肯定的啦!都说了要吃老婆仔煮的饭一世嘛!”

妈的!我就这样一句话被哄得那么开心!到底有没天理!女人啊女人!真是容易受骗的动物!失败!!!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mother's Day??!!

Shouldn't you call your mom? Mother's day wor. My BF said this to me last nite after shopping for a cook pot from Suntec. Since now my working hours is shorten by so much, i have more than enough extra time to cook at least a soup.

Calling my mom is a fear...a great one to me! I donno what should i speak of, or rather how should i talk! YAYA...i know it's my mom. We both have a same character. Once we had an arguement we just wait for the other to speak up first.

Last Sat, i accidentally hit on the speed dial key and rang my mom. Guess what.
"Yes, what."
"Huh? What's what?"
"You missed call just only for what?"
"No, i did not! Oh, maybe accidentally pressed!"
"Oh ok!"
"So, mom, how are you?"
"Fine."...Silence for 3seconds.
"So when you coming back?"
"Not so soon."
"Ok lah. Nothing already?"
"Nope."
"Bye."
"Bye."

There goes our conversation. Pathethic huh? What kinda mother daughter converse like this? Me and my special mom. We are both 'small gas'!!

Celebrate Mother's Day? Nah...you enjoy yourself but not for me!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

First Day NEW Job New Office

Sorby Marine Pte Ltd! First day report at work...i look so silly asking an uncle " how do i on this(the com)" "HAR...u donno meh"
Aih the fact is not that i donno...i just don understand why i turn on the power so many time just nothing happen, after that i just don't bother asking where the swtch is already! And now, the KEYBOARD! Damn, its not nice to type with!

What am i supposed to except for just sitting here gong gong not doing anything? I feel abit retarded. No one tell me what should i do. I just try to clear the mess but can't find the files which she mentioned. OMG...i feel so left out! I'm just sitting here gong gong and now it's gonna be 3pm already. What have i done, what have i learn? Erm....i donno wor! I'm such a blur Sotong now leh!

Should i go to my boss ask what i can help? Or should i just sit and wait till she comes back? But she so not free to teach! I'm still sitting my butt still stuck on the chair! It's like forever! Missy miss can you come back faster...i'm stuck now only MSN-ing!

What TR, TT, LC...WTH are all this!!! Oh GOD HELP...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Last Day in NH...

Today 09 May 2006, my last day in NH at last!! PHEW...

You must be asking izit that terrible working here...nah... actually not really, just that there are ppl who are jealous of alot of things! Or probably it's my problem! I'm such a small girl! Maybe i talk too much nonsense and i'm too childish! But but but...i've tried...tried very hard to be more mature!

I remember my mentor told me " Just speak your heart no matter what. Don't bother what ppl think about you. You is you...Don't try to change yourself to another person. Just be yourself!! Be the mature you or childish you, silly you or smart you, it doesn't matter! Ppl will love who you are and not what you act!! Speak your mind speak your heart, its your words!"

So...here's all my words...i'm speaking up like nobody business and oh yeah...i'm real happy! Just hope i can learn more in real life...speak like nobody business!! Who cares rite? It's my mouth my language, my mind, MY WORDS!!! Yippee...

YES...i shall speak more of my mind my word!!

Lastly...I'm LEAVING NH!!!! BYE BYE Hell...
Hello Sorby Marine Pte Ltd...

Monday, May 08, 2006

IRAS Tax Clearance...DAMN!!

Damn IRAS!! It's not like i'm leaving Singapore i'm still working her...and now i'm taxable for nothing! Oh no...i'm broke this month!!

Though i could have this amount refunded by 3 months time but...why should i have my own money in people's pocket for nothing? Do i get an interest or dividend? NOPE!!! But just going poor this whole month...OMG how am i gonna survive this whole month through? Aiyoyo...

Now that the money is in people's pocket...i fell so insecure...when will actually be refunded? Everyone is selfish who would return the money which is not yours but eventually became yours?

Aiya...my main concern is still when can i have the money...thousand plus is a big amount to me!! I'm not rich!!! I need to eat...I need feed people too!!!! DAMN IT!!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Hair Stylist - Profession Or Interest?

Why is there so many guys love to be a hair stylist? Eish...well, no offence but i see them either like aqua so na bek...or they stlye as though they look chun but acctually they just like stupid parrot, trying to be so colorful!

Aih...now even my BF has this will to learn hairdressing! Well, no comment (read shudding the shoulder). He say it's for living...true i believe it could be a job a profession! Just hope he doesn't become like one of the parrots...but i won give to much confidence in that. Not even whether he may really get through the whole course...hey it cost a big sum...HUGE!!

Doing it for living i hope he's doing it for our living to! Just wondering! But, he does not have any interest in that could he really succeed? A big question mark i see in front my eyes! Sometimes he's really funny would give all kinda surprises which i donno good anot!

He wanna do it not because of interest just for living...But without interest can this really be a career? Without interest you dont get the thoughts the feel for new style...! No feel, no new thoughts, no improvement can survive? I'm still wondering hard!!!

He's not young already, me too. I hope he could be serious with his decision!! I really don wish time to be wasted!!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Welcome!!

I'm quite new to blog. Just wan a space to express to let go..
I'm working cum studying cum donno wat else i can do...

Well i do have a blog with friendster. But i guess there are too many ppl which i know. Aiya...blogging too much of personal things in there not such a good thing.

So..here's my new home...Welcome!!