Q & A

两个人在一起最重要的什么呢？？？

Translation: What is most important for two person to be togather and to last?

This question suddenly arose...

Answers needed...please comment!

二人言。。。

两个人在一起条件：一定要心灵相通- 肥田喜事(TVB Drama)

可惜爱情是中毒品，你不只会很享受，不知不觉地上瘾，之后却是很痛苦。

如果婚姻是大家认同的坟墓，那爱情就是特制的棺材。

生命可以有保险为保障，也是负担。
婚姻微微一张证书是保障咩？不过它肯定是个负担！

Emotions

I am kinda playing with my emotions nowadays. I can be so irritated, or rather irritating too. I can just blow this minute, but the next i can just laugh out the lungs.

Pain i am in now,
Furious i am now,
Pathetic i am now.

What i am i do not know,
What i need i do not know,
What i care i do not know.

Pain in the body,
Pain in the mind,
Pain in the heart.

No one ever know my pain,
No one ever care my need,
No one ever notice my existence.

Confuse i am,
Annoyed i am,
Troubled i am.

I just wanna run,
I wanna escaped,
I wanna hide.

I wanna go away,
Somewhere dark and lonely,
Where no one finds me.

I am too weak,
I can't face anyone,
I don even wanna face myself.

I hate to live,
Yet i hate to end,
I hate myself the most.

Aiya...i don't even know what nonsense i am writting already lah!

求生或求死？

什么是求生？什么又是求死？是否有人可以正确的回答呢？

我的脾气向来就是波浪形的。尤其加上了承受意外的“后遗症”，这种的痛苦非普通人可以想象。从中承受了失去最要好的朋友，就连最后一面都也没机会地安详把她送至极乐世界，真是我极大的遗憾。除此，还得在床上休病至少四到六个月。三天后竟还发现肠子因横膈膜破了一个大洞塞住了左边的肺使得呼吸困难，这么一来，我还挺忍得的呢！困难了三天在临收拾背包回家前才告诉医生，之后就受皮肉之痛开刀把肠子从肺部重新排进肚子里。真好奇当时在手术室的那种情景。除了我的呱呱大叫， 还真想知道肠子跑了进上半身是什么样子的。

手术完毕，我被推至ICU整身插满管子的。鼻子，喉咙各一条都是呼吸管子。背部脊椎一条是下半身麻醉药的管子，每隔四十五分钟就会被滴入。左边肋骨也被插了一根比手指头大两至三倍的管子，只见很多黑血从中流出，流了一整个瓶子至少1Litre吧！再ICU里睡了两天，探望我的人都不能带超过十五分钟，手机又不能带入。那种日子真的事。。。一分钟如一天，一天如一年。

始终那种难熬的日子都已经过去了。这是叫生命意志强吗？求生意志的坚持吗？古人说：大命不死必有后福。可惜我总感觉不了后福咧！

之后，我每晚都是泪湿了枕都无法入眠，傻傻呆呆的结果患上了忧郁症。自杀倾向当然逃不过咯！痴呆的我还曾把整排20mg的安眠药，在加两排的镇定剂。。。哈哈。。。我就这样差点没命哦！也是因为求生意志强吗？吞了药丸后，我竟抱着垃圾桶吐了很多的白泡。很可惜的，我还是活得了！对我而言，吞药自杀原来是假的，是死不了的。呵呵！

两度死不去，该有两度的福气，对吧？。。不见得咯！

以前的我一直都想寻死，可是总是失败咯！现在的我更不知自己是在求生还是求死！总是有人告诉我“做人一定要有目标，那你就会去求生！”这是真的吗？何以见得？那么我往往把目标放至他人身上也算是有目标吗？我只想无忧无虑，无痛无苦的开开心心，可是这愿望好像好难实现咯！

最近的刮风大雨，更是令我生不如死！那种的痛真是难受，可是又有谁会明白又有谁会懂？每个人除了叫我看医生，叫我别去想它，种种种种的话，你又可直到这些话很敷衍？要是医生治得了我，那他就不必告诉我将使永久性的疼痛啦！要是药物真的有效，那我就根本无须每次都是double得吃啦！吃了竟都是止痛药，而且还不会止痛，反而整个人累累散散的!

是不我作孽太深？。。。唉！受的苦未免太苦了吧？我是否放弃了？应该说我从未振作过吧！过得了一天就一天咯！时辰还没到，做么都没用的啦！太悲观？不会啦！只是我深信这是我的命，我可以去闯我要的路，可使命是改变不了的哦！有我诞生的那刻，艰难的命运以降落。只可惜，我没那样的坚强支撑。。。我只可望结束的那一天，痛与哭也一同消失，这才是我意愿所达。。。开心快乐的一天吧！也算是目标吧？。。。

至此，是否真的有人可以解答这个谜 - 求生vs求死？

某某先生。。。

一瞬之间，我突然引起了这及大无比的感触。

一直很想说，我非常喜欢你给的那种感觉。不厌不腻的，甜细在心头让我永远都会记住。

这一切一切都怪于：天时，地利，人和。。。

自古以来，有句良言，人一定要知足。有认识，到相处，随时非常非常短暂，而且非常的浅薄；可是总算是相识相知，这已够于满足了。

我依然会留着这一线线的小希望，好让这甜而不腻，蜜在心头的感觉长久持续。。。

祝你也与我一样会幸福快快乐乐的，永远都记住彼此。

Loan Sharks vs Gambler

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/5/nation/16221582&sec=nation
http://www.nanyang.com/index.php?ch=7&pg=10&ac=675012

Links above are about the news beginning of this Dec06. 3kids died coz the father killed them. Then the parent did try to commit suicide. But they then found out that the pain was unbearable, hence they themselves called up the police to seek help. All this started coz the father owe money to the "SHARKS"!

How stupid to do so...

But are loan sharks to be blame? To be honest, I do not agree!!...Strongly strongly disagree... If the borrower is a gambler!! This is not becoz of biasness, but its a truth!

I personally know 'ah long'! They are not that cruel afterall... Come to think of it, they really do make the economy grow, maybe in small %.

Talk about gamblers, I personally hate them deeply deeply. My own father is one of them. And he, too, borrow from ah long. So if there were things happenning around me, is ah long to be blamed?

Gambler gamble just want to win money. The more they losses, the more they want to win it back. As they gamble and losses, their cash gradually decrease. Till when it reach zero...oh no, guess what they would do. YES..."SHARKS". So does this mean that existence of the "sharks" to be blamed?

Put yourself into a gambler's shoe. When you have no more cash, and you must win back whatever you have lose...what choice do you have? Bank?...no way...it takes too long to process plus need too many documents. "Sharks" is the one. Ok...just ignore existence of the "sharks", bank would still not be the first choice. Gamblers would do anything, and would be hyper thick face. No matter what, they would get ways to borrow from friends, relatives whoever it would be.

But how many would actually borrow to gamblers just to win back the money? Money given to gamblers is equal to throwing them into the deep sea! No, No, No...even throwing into the deep sea, you will hear a "THUMP" into the sea.

Though borrowing from these people may be less risk, but it does not mean they won't ask back for the cash. Human are greedy and selfish. How can they just give out the money. But it all depend how thick face they can be.

In short, a gambler would anyhow beg or threat for money. I personally went through and see all this thoroughly. Also, i've seen ah long threatening for pay back too...

I side on no side. But, seeing my father, i believe it's the gambler's fault. If they have known to have self control they would not have gamble till they lost their lives.

Dad...these are my words to you. Either you stop gambling, or you would just be as good as the dead. I'm not being irrespectful or cruel but that's the truth! We've paid off twice on behalf of you to the ah long, and the sum is everytime greater! Now, this is the thrid time...we have no eyes to see already! I dowan to lose a fahter, but we can't always help you. It's unfair for us...and you are too irresponsible!...Please...You are old enough to know what to do!! Do not use granny as a threat...eve if you were to jump from the flat, that is for what you have done, that is your responsible. We've done whatever we can, if you still continue...what is the point of me calling you as my dad?